What’s Up With Women’s Closets? The Psychology of Getting Rid of Clothes That Don’t Serve You

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Ask a woman, any woman, how she feels about her clothes closet. You will likely get a range of answers but overall, I think what you’re going to hear is

·         It’s a mess

·         I can’t find anything

·         I have too many clothes, yet I have nothing to wear

·         I hate going in there

Why is this? And why don’t you hear men saying these things?

Closets are a landmine for women. They are overcrowded and hold clothing of many styles, sometimes from many decades. They are a time capsule of sorts – bridesmaids dresses, Little Black Dresses, pre-motherhood outfits. Pants from a time when your metabolism was robust and you could eat and drink late at night and nothing changed.

Changing old thoughts will help you create a shame-free closet

Women’s bodies go through so many changes that have a huge impact in how our clothes fit. Aging, pregnancy, perimenopause and then menopause. No matter what you eat, and how much you work out, everything is going to shift and head south - even if you weigh what you did in high school.

Yet we hold on to this dream, this belief that we should always have the same body type, same size, no matter what we’ve been through. Do you see how ridiculous that notion is?

Blame the patriarchy for that – after all, that’s where the nonsense came from, that women’s bodies should be small and therefore, pleasing to men. We all got the message that having extra weight is wrong, wrong, wrong. Be small, be quiet – that’s how you’ll catch a man! Such garbage mentality!

I think we are ever so slowly coming away from that BS. I see the younger generations pushing back on that and taking agency over their bodies (well, as much as they can, but that’s a different blog). I am hopeful for a day that we get away from that tired misogynistic rhetoric.

But in the meantime…

Clothing that you don’t wear is called clutter

I work with so many women who carry that outdated messaging that was forced upon them growing up. Warped body image is a big, big deal for women who have been in the world for several decades. And it’s affecting how they dress.

Closets were designed for a very simple goal – to have a place to hang your clothes. It’s turned into a museum of who we once were and with that, comes so much shame.

We need help with that. It’s a daunting task to go through old clothing that no longer fits. These outfits represent a younger version of ourselves. Why do we need them hanging there, shaming us? Guess what - we don’t.

Clearing out a closet is a true journey – it’s emotional and treacherous but once you get rid of old, ill-fitting items, you’ll find a bit of peace of mind.

Let me give you some advice – you may lose weight one day. And if you do? You’re not going to want to wear those smaller clothes. You’ll want new things in a current style that fit the body you have now. The old stuff is hanging there, mocking you. Don’t put yourself in that place!

If you’re not wearing the clothes in your closets, in your drawers – then it’s clutter.

And…no matter how much money you spent on that dress, that blouse, etc., the money has been spent. Clothing does not appreciate through the years – rather, it’s a diminishing return. You’ll never get the money back. Yes, there are instances when selling high end clothing nets you a bit of cash back, but you must figure in the time and energy that requires. When you are trying to decide what to keep and what to donate, ask yourself: would I buy this again? There’s your answer!

Get rid of that overwhelming closet and give yourself peace of mind

Wardrobes have also changed in a dramatic way due to the pandemic and the work-from-home movement. For many women, we have lots and lots of corporate skirts and blouses that have a layer or two of dust on them. We’ve gone from five days a week in the office to maybe three or even none. A lot of that stuff can be donated to a non-profit such as Dress for Success, where your business clothing will help low-income women feel confident during interviews and new careers. Doesn’t that sound like a wonderful second life for your clothes?

For most people, doing a clean sweep of your entire wardrobe will provide a psychological lift that will feel better than you can dream. Imagine walking into your closet and seeing only the things you love, things that feel good when you put them on and feel immediately empowered! Image having everything on matching hangers, arranged in the order that works best for you (color coded, or by type). You can have that! I work with women just like you and help them to get rid of the overwhelm, as we work to turn closets into a calming, stress-free space.

It's time to make this change that will lift you mentally and psychologically. Start now, start today. Begin with a small category, such as underwear, bras or socks. Do one area at a time (and not all in one day unless you’re up for it!). Little by little you will see results. And if this is all too much to think about, hire a home organizer to help you declutter and organize your wardrobe so you can accomplish your goals. It’s time, are you ready?